This morning I went by the bank to deposit a check, just like I do a few times a week. I figured this morning would be the same as countless other mornings when I have visited the bank near Kennesaw State University. I took one last swig of my coffee and finished listening to the song on the radio before stepping out of my 4runner. What happened next I couldn’t believe. I could of woken up that morning and written down 1000 things I thought would happen before noon that day and what happened would have not made the list.
I stepped out and just as I closed the door I heard a loud fluttering sound behind me. I turned and a sea of white was headed straight for my head. I ducked as a multitude of what I later found out to be doves flew over my head. It was a good thirty to forty-five seconds before they had all passed. As I fell to the ground to escape getting hit by one of these dangerous birds of prey I reacted by saying “WHAT THE F@*# ????!!!!”. Not a word for a Christian mouth to say I know, but in a time like this you don’t think about what you say. I said it. I stand by it. I regret saying it. It happened. Get over it. If people want my language cleaned up don’t unleash and armada of flying rodents at my head when I’m trying to get out of my car.
As the fluttering faded away I rose again to my feet in relief that I was still breathing and the shock of what had just happened did not stop my heart. It was then that I realized the consequences of me uttering that fateful cuss word moments before. Beside me, about three spaces down, was a van, not just an ordinary van but a van full of children with the windows down. They were staring at me as if I’d killed Hannah Montana. As if I’d pulled out a .45 and shot them seven times in the chest and then double tapped their forehead to make sure their innocence was dead.
Next to the bank. There is a small museuem with various exhibits throughout the year. The children and their leader aka “I never had power in my life so I use this position to feel better about myself and feel important lady”, had obviously planned a trip to visit the muesuem that morning. The van passengers like myself never expected for a million doves to be released in this parking lot. As I finally turned passed the horrified childrens faces I looked over and saw a bearded man smiling standing next to a pick up truck where he had relased the doves by removing a piece of ply board he had attached to the tailgate. This is not a common occurrence as I Ilive in suburban Atlanta.
Leader lady began to get out of the van and the Jeremiah Johnson guy started rerigging his truck that transported demons of the sky, when I decided that a confrontation with either of them just wasn’t worth it. I had my life. I was good to go. So I got back in my 4runner and closed the door. I went home,got back in the bed, took a 30 min nap, and then started my morning over again. There are few experiences in the morning that could have made for a worse start to a day. Can’t complain though. At least I didn’t see an ex girlfriend. In that case the F bomb would not have sufficed.