So it was 101 degrees today in Georgia..what did I do? Go to the pool? No…Get ice cream and snow cones? No..My idiot self played tennis against my neighbor.. I think I lost 10 lbs of sweat in the hour and a half we were out there… I make fun of dumb people a lot..but I have realized that I myself do some of the dumbest and say some of the dumbest things of anyone else I know..
For instance I have learned in my life to never ever ever say to a lady in a grocery store , “expecting soon huh?” or “How far along are you?”…Everytime you do this, it turns out the lady is not pregnant. Most of the times when you say something dumb you can recover from it, this is one of those cases where you can’t. What are you supposed to say “Oh I’m sorry ma’am your mishapen gut made it look like you were with child, my apologies”. No in this situation you turn and walk away, leave your buggy and just walk away.
There is another situation that is even worse than that one. I’m sure you have all done it, your standing in line, you want to reach over and get a Milkyway Midnight but the person in front of you is in the way. You politely say, “Excuse me,sir”. The sir turns around and you find out that the the sir is actually a really ugly ma’am with a mullet. There is no way to recover from this. I have tried. My best attempts were “Oh I’m sorry….you” “I’m sorry..individual” “I’m sorry..human being…I think”…In this situation just turn and run get in your car, don’t even change the radio station, and just drive, drive until you are somewhere that you can tell the difference between men and women again. And if you can’t find that place, well you are most likely at a drag show and frankly that’s just really weird.